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stories

Thanks for journeying with me! 

look again.

Tiffany Lambert

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we have faith. with God, the impossible is possible. we got this. we got this... and then the storm hits and we are back at it again with our fear and our scrambling for control. 

in reality, it is a fine line between faith and doubt and I’ve faltered between the two more than I care to admit. 

when we fix our eyes on Jesus, we can conquer anything.  when our eyes are diverted, we sink. it is pretty simple. one minute confidently walking on water, the next- a terror filled, spiral out of control. it’s funny how life is like that. 

 

when will we learn to remember?

when will we learn, that we were never the ones in control?

we will, when we learn to look again. 

 

Peter confidently cries out to Jesus to call him out on the water. At this point, the storm and the depth of the sea were inconsequential, they were nothing compared to the glory of looking Jesus in the face. He was on a faith high, ready to face anything, until the wind and the waves, they beckoned, picking up speed and dragging his attention away from the gaze of Jesus and onto the danger. He begins to sink.

Did you catch that? When we focus on the circumstance, we sink. When we look at the storm instead of Jesus, we sink. When we look anywhere but Jesus, you guessed it- we sink. 

It only takes a split second, but it has dire consequences. 

Praise Jesus, we aren’t doomed to our sinking. Praise Jesus, we aren’t doomed to our circumstance or our sadness or even our unraveling. For, even though we are a fickle people and we look away- we can look again, and the minute we do, that storm doesn’t seem so intense any more.  It’s about focus, it's about perspective. It's about our gaze.  

 

Where are you looking to? Your circumstance, or your Savior? 

Where are you looking to? Look again. 

we always think that God’s presence is provided to fix our problems, but what if God’s presence is meant to fix our perspective so we see our problems differently.
— Steven Furtick

 

 

i should(n’t) be a missionary.

Tiffany Lambert

If anyone out there was keeping track, I probably shouldn’t be a missionary. If my compliance with "the law" determined my salvation, I wouldn’t even really be saved at all. I can be a mix of good & bad, messy & selfish. I can lose focus and allow criticism to fill my thought life. There are of course good things about me too, but when I live out of my own strengths, I can forget who I am meant to be and all that I have been saved from. 

On hearing this, Jesus said, It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.
— matthew 9:12

From the sickness of sin I have been healed. Hallelujah, for I am a sinner who has been saved. Saved, not by blindly following a set of rules or laws, but by the immeasurable sacrifice of a loving Savior.                                                                                                          

I didn’t earn any of this. Because I have been undeservingly saved, I must live life missionally. 

 

I would be disqualified by the law, but I am saved by grace & that is exactly why I should be a missionary, so that others may know. 

So there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him , the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit.
— Romans 8:1-4

It is not about us perfectly upholding the law, or doing the best we can during our lifetime simply to get by or to make it to the end goal of heaven. It is about daily dying to yourself, fully understanding and never forgetting the massive gift of grace we have been given. It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I know how much the love of God has impacted my life. How it has taken me and given me beauty for ashes, how it has given me joy for mourning.

I’ve seen what God can do with a sinner like me & I want others to have that chance. In remembering how desperately I need my Savior- that is what motivates me to be a missionary, so that others may know. 

these dry bones.

Tiffany Lambert

i've had some things rattling around in my mind lately. i've had desires to know God on a deeper level and to be known on a deeper level- yet something is holding me back. i feel paralyzed in some ways. i know my desires, i see them within my grasp- yet they are, or feel, unattainable.  

i had the revelation: i've become comfortable, paralyzed. i've become dry bones. with the advent of social media things have changed. i'm not necessarily living in an obvious sin. i'm doing full time ministry, i serve God, i pray, i live by faith for my ministry & finances- but the last few months i've felt like something was missing. i've felt dry. i've felt disconnected, numb. i've been reduced to bones.

sometimes we, or at least myself over here, have this picture of the enemy that he is the big bad wolf. he's out to get us, and we are the innocent victims. that he uses these out of the box ways to hinder us, in our callings and in our life & honestly this is, in many ways, true. something i have realized however, is that we often times do his job for him. we disqualify ourselves, we take ourselves out of the race. we allow ourselves to be silently paralyzed, without recognizing the connection. i am being honest here friends, & i am preaching to myself as well.

i have felt this conviction so strongly lately. when i have a couple of free minutes- i end up on social media. when i wake up, & right before i go to bed- i end up on social media. throughout my day i end up on social media when i don't even mean to be. i recognize the irony that this post is being shared on social media & i'm not here to villainize it- but i am here to recognize its dangers. I am a firm believer that social media is a tool that we can use to bring awareness, to highlight testimony of our God: who he is and how he works. it can be used to build relationships, to share prayer requests, to communicate life happenings, to share joy and sorrows & those are all good things! social media is not evil! but there is a catch, there is a downfall, when it takes the highest place in our lives. when it eliminates us from feeling anything real, from being able to hold an intentional conversation in person. when it eliminates us from really living a life outside of cyber space. it can be like a silent poison, slowly suffocating us, while disengaging us from reality, separating us from who God is or why we are even here on this earth in the first place. as i began to process all of these things, and recognize this in my own life God pointed me to Ezekial 37.

The Lord took hold of me, and I was carried away by the Spirit of the Lord to a valley filled with bones. He led me all around among the bones that covered the valley floor. They were scattered everywhere across the ground and were completely dried out. Then he asked me, “Son of man, can these bones become living people again?”
“O Sovereign Lord,” I replied, “you alone know the answer to that.”
Then he said to me, “Speak a prophetic message to these bones and say, ‘Dry bones, listen to the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Look! I am going to put breath into you and make you live again! I will put flesh and muscles on you and cover you with skin. I will put breath into you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’”
So I spoke this message, just as he told me. Suddenly as I spoke, there was a rattling noise all across the valley. The bones of each body came together and attached themselves as complete skeletons. Then as I watched, muscles and flesh formed over the bones. Then skin formed to cover their bodies, but they still had no breath in them.
Then he said to me, “Speak a prophetic message to the winds, son of man. Speak a prophetic message and say, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, O breath, from the four winds! Breathe into these dead bodies so they may live again.’”
So I spoke the message as he commanded me, and breath came into their bodies. They all came to life and stood up on their feet—a great army.
Then he said to me, “Son of man, these bones represent the people of Israel. They are saying, ‘We have become old, dry bones—all hope is gone. Our nation is finished.’ Therefore, prophesy to them and say, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: O my people, I will open your graves of exile and cause you to rise again. Then I will bring you back to the land of Israel. When this happens, O my people, you will know that I am the Lord. I will put my Spirit in you, and you will live again and return home to your own land. Then you will know that I, the Lord, have spoken, and I have done what I said. Yes, the Lord has spoken!

— Ezekial 37:1-14

i've read these verses many times, they are some of my favorite verses in the bible. i love the idea that the Lord wants to partner with us to bring life, when he has all the power to do it on his own. i've always associated these verses with calling forth life into those who are dry because they don't know the Lord, but this time God showed me a different side of this. just because i know the Lord does not mean that i am immune to becoming dry bones. he spoke to me that these verses reference his church, his people becoming dry and desolate, when his earnest desire is for them to be lively, living beings. 

i often think about the state of our world and feel sad. people can be hateful, violence is prevalent, fear is a driving factor, and the trend towards hopelessness is all too real. why do you think an app like "pokemon go" is doing so well? yes it is fun, yes it is throwback and brings up nostalgia and all those great things... but in reality it is just another distraction. it is something to divert away from processing and realizing how hard things on this earth really are.

as christians, we live in the tension between heaven and earth. we live in the tension of being saved and living for the hope of eternity & feeling hopeless, feeling weary, feeling overwhelmed with the sin and destruction that seemingly reigns in this world. 

rather than accepting the way things are, rather than shutting down, going into dry bones mode or not allowing myself to feel anything- i feel God calling me to a different option. I feel God calling me to wake up. our nation is in a state of dry bones, rather than accepting things as they are, this should fuel me in my intercession and standing in the gap for the state of my community, my city, my nation, my world.

we allow ourselves to be paralyzed and numbed by social media, afraid of the destruction and news we see, living like the walking dead. all the while, God is calling us into deeper relationship, he is calling us to partner with him in breathing life into dry bones. this starts with individuals, with the church coming alive, aligning themselves with God, stepping into their identity and destiny and calling others to do the same. when non-believers see someone sold out for Jesus, walking in freedom and their calling it is often irresistible, why then are so many people turned off of christianity by the church? because we are walking in religion not the true life that jesus christ brings. we are dry bones and we don't even realize it! God created us to live in constant, living and vibrant relationship with him. please church, here me out. come alive again. prophecy life and breath into your own lives and then extend that to others. bring jesus into your work place, your relationships, friendships, assignments, hobbies, days and nights and things will be dramatically different. there is so much more available to us than comfortable christianity, there is so much more for us than dry bones.

 

Lord, I ask you to breath life into my dry bones. I ask your forgiveness and lay down the idol of social media. may you take the highest place in my life. i am done living paralyzed to your presence and your goodness in my life. i know that there is so much more of you available to me & i beg you to breathe life into my relationships, my ministry, every single aspect of my life. 

 

(good) grief.

Tiffany Lambert

MY SWEET GRANDPA JIM, PASSED AWAY THIS MORNING, AT 82 YEARS OLD.

To my dearest grandpa Jim: 

I wish I had told you how funny you were,                                                                                         or how precious your smile was when you would laugh. 

I wish I had told you how much I admired you for working so hard to provide for & raise 8 kids.

I wish you could still be there someday at my wedding                                                                   to cut in during the father daughter dance. 

I wish I had told you how much I admired your faith & passion.

I wish we could play King’s Corners just one more time. 

I wish I had told you thank you for raising my dad, for molding him into a man of character,       for giving him your humor & for allowing him to dream big dreams.

I wish I had made sure you knew that you were the best grandpa a little girl could ask for. 

 

 

 

There are so many things I wish, but this I know-

You are made whole again, free from pain & hurt.

You are with Jesus now & that gives me hope.

i let go.

Tiffany Lambert

i let go.

i let go.

This has been an amazing outreach:                                                                                                 I've seen God move, & I've seen my students & myself be transformed. 

I've seen the eyes of a prostitute light up when she hears that she has true value. I've worshiped with people in the streets of Mexico City. I've gotten to know and encourage survivors of human trafficking. I've hammocked with ngäbe tribal women in the mountains of Panama.  I've heard the gut wrenching stories of men deported into Tijuana. I've done lots of dishes. I've translated- even when i felt inadequate. I've befriended people so very different than me, yet very much the same.

I've had the privilege of leading 7 women- beautiful, unique, & wild lovers of Jesus on a crazy God adventure through  the nations of Mexico and Panama.

I've  grown & learned so much on this outreach, & the biggest thing I've learned?  it's how to let go. 

 

As beautiful as this outreach has been, as a leader I allowed myself to be under a lot of pressure. In the midst of all the beauty & chaos, I felt really tired. All of the details and the discipleship and energy needed to lead an outreach, the trying to be in control, it was almost consuming me.

At some point however, I felt something shift.  I was sitting and talking with God asking him what had changed and His answer:

you let go. 

I let go, I laid it all down. The false idea that I had been in control in the first place, has broken. It took God about 6 weeks or so to break that in me, but He did it. During this outreach when things were meant to be planned for our ministry... they weren't. Sometimes we didn't know what we would be doing for ministry until the night before, sometimes we didn't even know until the morning of. God has so been stretching me, calling me, to let go of control & to trust that He has something for me & my team, even when I can't see it.

It's one thing to want to know & have things organized for yourself but when you have responsibility for a team & have 7 girls looking to you for details & plans, it adds a lot of stress. It has been so humbling to say, many times,  "I don't know guys, let's pray."

I've learned complete reliance on the Holy Spirit as a leader. In driving directions, in ministry opportunities & in projects, the Holy Spirit, not me, has been our guide. We've come together as a team each morning & said "okay Lord, what do you have for us today?" 

I love, I really love, having things organized & planned. This is my nature & God has totally shaken this up for me. He's kept me on the edge of my seat, trusting Him in every moment. 

While organization can be a positive thing, God has really been nudging me to let go of my death grip on the details & enjoy the adventure that he has me on in that season. I haven't been able to rely on my own plans at all & it has brought me closer to Jesus, day after day.

I'm happy I let go, because when I did, I gained so much more peace & freedom, I gained so much more of Jesus.

 

I’m letting go, I’m letting go,
I’m letting go, falling into you.

& you remind me of things forgotten.
& you unwind me, until I’m totally undone.

Steffany Gretzinger, from Bethel Music, is my girl. Her worship is so anointed, so beautiful & this song pretty much sums up what God has done in me during this outreach, have a listen.

bought.

Tiffany Lambert

In the Merced market district of Mexico City simple transactions are made: clothing items, shoes, fruits, spices and candies are sold for dirt cheap. Oh & so are women.

Each day about 500, beautiful & precious girls, many of them underage, line up against a chain link fence.

WAITING AROUND, WAITING TO BE BOUGHT.

Waiting to be used & then discarded, until the next guy comes along. An encounter with these women goes for as low as  $8 U.S. dollars per hour. 

No matter how long or how many times I do red light district ministry. It never gets easier. I’ve talked with women & encouraged them only to have them bought seconds later. I’ve seen the hurt, the pain & the fear in their eyes. It’s maddening & gut wrenching. Why is it okay for women & even children to be bought? Why is it okay? The answer is simple- it’s not. 

You see, these women, even you and me- we were already bought.

He who was without sin died in our place, paid for our sins, in order that we could enter into full and unhindered relationship with the Father. These women are already claimed & I refuse to believe that there is no hope for them, or for places like Merced.  There is hope for  God’s heart is to redeem these women, just as he redeems us. Although I cannot see it yet, in faith, I will still hold on to hope. 

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
— Romans 8:22-25

TAKE HEART, FOR WE WERE BOUGHT AT THE HIGHEST PRICE.

I've got amnesia.

Tiffany Lambert

I’ve got amnesia and I’ve got it bad. 

God speaks promises, encouragements over me and the minute things get hard I begin to lose sight of those promises.

I forget, I lose my memory.

God provided a family friend who would pay for my entire education at the university of my dreams: Baylor University. Rent, tuition, books and food all four years, all completely covered. I am forever grateful for the experience and the growth, the community and the adventures I had at that place. 

When I didn’t have time to raise full time support because I jumped right in to working with Discipleship Training Schools full time, God provided for all my needs and more, pulling together a ministry team around me to support me financially and in prayer. I didn’t lack anything.  But the minute I have a greater need financially as a missionary I start to stress about how it will be covered. 

God is faithful, so why can’t I remember that? 

It is a cycle:

God provides, God is faithful.                                        Time of testing. Amnesia.

God speaks truth and life over me.                             That word gets challenged. Amnesia. 

God calls me to something. I walk towards it.             It gets tough. Amnesia. 


I’m so done with forgetting. The character of God is not changing, so why would I think otherwise? He is ever faithful, ever good, ever loving, ever merciful and ever sovereign. Period.

The more I have amnesia the less I have my feet planted on the solid rock of Christ, and the easier it is for satan to push me over.

I’m done forgetting, I will stand firm. 

hurry up and wait.

Tiffany Lambert

Sometimes I feel like I’m a toddler: God gives me promises & I expect them immediately. It’s my promise and I want it now, why must I wait? It's been such a journey to figure out that God's promises are most of the time not fulfilled instantaneously. 

THE THING IS: GOD GIVES US TIMES OF WAITING, AND THERE IS A REASON FOR IT.

God is a God worth waiting on, but in our human nature we try to take control & fulfill His promises for ourselves. We expect instant gratification or else we get frustrated,  we give up, we stop waiting & do it ourselves, or we just move on.

Often I do all of the above.


As an old man  Abram or Abraham, in the Bible, was promised to become a father of many nations. He was promised to have decedents numbering as many as the stars, but how could this promise ever be? They were old and his wife was barren, but our God is a God of miracles and He works for our good outside of the restrictions of time and space. Instead of waiting in faith for God’s promise to be fulfilled, Abram & Sarai took matters into their own hands. They created an artificial version of the promise God intended & as a result Ishmael was born. Eventually God’s promise was fulfilled, and Isaac was born, but the beauty of this promise was tainted because they had taken matters into their own hands.

I don’t want to create God's promises artificially, I want the real thing. 


How did we get to this point? How did we become so unfaithful, so impatient, so fickle? Sin.                                                                    

I know, that I know, that I know God is faithful. I’ve seen so many of His promises prove to be true in my life & in others' lives. They always happen in His way, His timing, through means I would’ve never concocted myself. They are always beautiful, always significant when they come to pass. Yet here I am, time after time, getting impatient.  The desire to handle it myself, to take up control & forge ahead sneaks in, and before I know it I’ve created a mess, an unfulfilling, stressful mess. This mess, is not what God desires for us.

WE CANNOT ELEVATE THE PROMISE OVER THE GOD. 

the promise itself is secondary to our relationship with god.  god is faithful, god is good, he never fails & he never changes, he is the alpha and omega, the beginning & end. he is father, he is savior, he is friend.                       it is so important that we don’t forget who god is.  OUr joy is not found in the Fulfillment of promise, but in knowing god. the waiting, it is meant to be a good thing, a time for unification with our father, a time to love and be loved byhim .

 

The best part is this: God desires good for us infinitely more than we could ever imagine, or even desire for ourselves. He want to fulfill His promises for us, He promised them in the first place but He has the bigger picture, & He knows what we need & when we need it. He’s got us. He is not a father who gives us a rock when we ask for a piece of bread. No, when we ask for bread He prepares a feast before us. We must trust in Him and have faith not just for His promises but also for His timing. 

Hurry up and wait, and in the waiting, take heart: GOD’S GOODNESS IS REAL AND IT'S TANGIBLE.

 

"I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." 

Psalm 27:13-14