I’ve got amnesia and I’ve got it bad.
God speaks promises, encouragements over me and the minute things get hard I begin to lose sight of those promises.
I forget, I lose my memory.
God provided a family friend who would pay for my entire education at the university of my dreams: Baylor University. Rent, tuition, books and food all four years, all completely covered. I am forever grateful for the experience and the growth, the community and the adventures I had at that place.
When I didn’t have time to raise full time support because I jumped right in to working with Discipleship Training Schools full time, God provided for all my needs and more, pulling together a ministry team around me to support me financially and in prayer. I didn’t lack anything. But the minute I have a greater need financially as a missionary I start to stress about how it will be covered.
God is faithful, so why can’t I remember that?
It is a cycle:
God provides, God is faithful. Time of testing. Amnesia.
God speaks truth and life over me. That word gets challenged. Amnesia.
God calls me to something. I walk towards it. It gets tough. Amnesia.
I’m so done with forgetting. The character of God is not changing, so why would I think otherwise? He is ever faithful, ever good, ever loving, ever merciful and ever sovereign. Period.
The more I have amnesia the less I have my feet planted on the solid rock of Christ, and the easier it is for satan to push me over.